


Beginnings

by Joe_Reaves



Series: Past Life Series [4]
Category: Empire Records (1995)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Kid Fic, Pre-Canon, Sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-13
Updated: 2010-04-13
Packaged: 2017-10-08 22:29:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/80143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joe_Reaves/pseuds/Joe_Reaves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe gets custody of Lucas</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Co-written with [Lucas](http://verito295.livejournal.com/)

The social worker hands me the papers confirming the judge's decision to grant me custody of Lucas. I look at her with a wide smile on my face. "Miss. Vale. I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for both of us. I know I'm not the most conventional guardian for a teenage boy, so thank you for fighting to let me keep Lucas." She smiles at me and waves my thanks off.

"From the first time I saw the two of you together, I knew this was the way it was supposed to be. I wish you all the best," she glances over at Lucas. "I think you're going to need it. He's going to be a handful."

*

Before she can leave I quietly come up to her. "Jack, I.. I just wanted to say thank you for everything." I know it's not nearly enough since she has really been there for me over the last six months, but it's the only thing I have to give her. Before I can change my mind I move closer and give her a quick hug, which she returns with one of her own and a smile.

"It's what I'm here for Lucas and remember what I told you, you are going to be ok now." With one last smile she turns around and heads for Joe's front door.

*

The door closes behind the social worker and I look down at the papers in my hand. It's final. I am now the guardian of a skinny teenage boy. Oh God! How the hell am I going to do this without screwing up? I hadn't thought about that before, or about anything really. I just knew, the moment I saw him in my store, that someone needed to look out for this kid, and that, for some reason, that someone had to be me. Even when Tracy kicked me out – the only thing I thought about was finding myself somewhere to live so I could get Lucas out of the hands of social services and home as soon as possible.

Turning around I can see Lucas watching me nervously. I smile at him. "Well, that's that then. I'm your legal guardian. So what should we do to celebrate?"

*

I try to give Joe a smile, I know it makes him happy when I do, but now that everything is official I have this tight knot in my stomach that tells me that at some point Joe will realise how much of a bother I am and that I'm really not worth all his efforts. I manage a tiny grin and hope it's enough for now. I stuff my hands deep in my pockets and shrug a little before speaking up softly "I don't know Joe, whatever you want really. You have done too much for me already. I don't want you to go to too much trouble."

*

"Come here, kid," I say gently. When he does I pull him into a hug. Like always he freezes when I first wrap my arms around him, but I stay like that unmoving, until he relaxes and rests his head on my chest, tentatively bring his own arms up and around my waist. "You could never be too much trouble, Lucas," I reassure him. I know he doesn't really believe that, but I will keep telling him until he does. My next problem is I have no idea what a teenage boy would like to do to celebrate.

"How about we go out for the rest of the day and on the way home grab a pizza and a couple of movies and have a quiet night in together?" I ask hopefully, still not letting him go completely, but loosening my hold so he can pull back enough to answer me. "And until then … what about the zoo?"

*

I can't believe I'm actually letting anyone touch me but for some reason I feel safe when he holds me, something I've never felt before. I bask in the feeling for a moment and this time when I pull back I give him a true smile. "The zoo sounds great Joe, I'd love to see the penguins and the sea lions and do you think they will have tigers? I've always wanted to see them." I can't help but bounce up and down a little in his arms, I don't care if it's stupid and it makes me look like a little kid, but I've never been to a zoo and the rest of Joe's plan for the day sounds really like a lot of fun.

*

I smile delightedly when Lucas starts bouncing. I can't believe he's never seen tigers before, but if that's all it takes to make him happy we can spend as long looking at them as he wants. I finally release him and nod towards his room. "Grab your coat then and we'll go." While he's doing that I make sure I have my keys and my wallet and shrug my leather jacket on.

As soon as we get there he heads for the gift shop, but I steer him away from it. "Kid, you visit now and you'll end up carrying your souvenirs all around the zoo. Trust me, save it for the way home. Now what do you want to see first?" I scan the signposts. "Big cats are that way, sea lions and penguins and such are over there and the reptile house is this way."

*

Oh God I can't believe Joe actually wants to go to the gift shop. I just wanted to have a peek, but he's actually talking as if he wants to buy something. I try to squish the idea of all the cool stuff that they probably have on sale and concentrate on the signpost Joe is pointing at. I've loved cats ever since I was a little kid, when I was living with my mother a neighbour used to have a really plump one called Reina and she was such a sweety, she would let me cuddle her and scratch her belly for hours. With another small bounce I point in the direction the sign says the big cats are and I really can't help but smile again at my new foster parent. "Can we go see the cats Joe?"

*

I rest my hand on his back and guide him along the path the sign is indicating. "Oh hang on, Lucas. Let me buy a guide book first – it'll have a map so we don't miss anything." I buy the book and hand it to Lucas. "Cats first and then you can work out where we need to go next." I check my watch as we approach the enclosures for the cats. If I remember rightly feeding time is in about ten minutes. The first enclosure is a large grassy area surrounded by a concrete wall, with a deep, water-filled ditch separating the grass from the wall so the tigers can't get out. Lucas rests his hands on the wall and actually lifts himself off the ground to get a closer look. I stand behind him, a hand on his shoulder, just in case he slips. I know, I know, ridiculously overprotective, but I can't seem to help myself

*

I pull myself up to look over the wall and when Joe puts a hand on my shoulder I turn around and smile at him again. Just then the trainer comes out with two helpers and they start feeding and playing with the four tigers that belong to the zoo. They are absolutely amazing and I try to pull myself a little closer when I suddenly slip and I would have fallen back on my ass if Joe hadn't caught me just in time. I blush deeply and feel like an idiot, stammering I tell him: "I'm sorry Joe, I didn't mean to slip, I should have been more careful." I pull back and look down, I can't look at Joe in the eyes and see him getting upset with me.

*

I resist the urge to hug him again, not wanting to draw too much attention and upset Lucas any more. Instead I squeeze the shoulder my hand is still resting on. I want to get my hands on the people who made him feel like he couldn't do anything right and smack them around a bit. I smile reassuringly, even though he is staring at the ground. "Hey, it was an accident, it happens," I say. "I was here to catch you so there's nothing to worry about. I'll always be here to catch you, Lucas. I promise." I point back to the enclosure. "Come on, you don't want to miss anything."

*

I look up at him with a tremulous smile and turn back to the tigers to enjoy to rest of the show, maybe now a little more convinced of my place with him. Once the tiger show is over we spend another couple of minutes watching the large cats lounging around and then Joe suggest we move on to the next enclosure. The rest of the afternoon passes quickly in a whirlwind of animals of every kind; Joe even buys me cotton candy after he notices me drooling a little over the one a kid was eating near the panda bear cage. By the time we reach the penguin pool it's near closing time, but there is still a large group of children screaming and pointing at the cute birds. I turn around to ask Joe if I can go and look at them from close by, but a lone figure in a corner attract my attention and I feel myself going white as a ghost. Stammering I turn to Joe, " Joe, maybe, maybe we can go now, there are too many kids around the penguin pool."

*

I don't like the way Lucas looks, but I can't work out what upset him. "Lucas?" I ask. "Is something the matter?" He shakes his head and repeats his excuse, and I'm sure that's what it is, about the kids. I can't force him to trust me though and if I don't know what's wrong I can't fix it either. "Sure, if you want to. It is a bit crowded isn't it," I say, letting it go for now. "Maybe we can come back next weekend and see the penguins." I check my watch and guide him towards the entrance with my arm around his shoulders. "If we stay much longer we won't have time to look around the gift shop anyway." I encourage him to wander around the shop and look at everything. I make a note of which things he spends the most time on because I know he won't ask for any of them. "So what do you want to buy?" I ask.

*

I'm still a little worried that he might have seen us near the penguin pool, but Joe is sticking close to me and soon enough I relax a little, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't come in here anyway. I look around and finally spot something that I would really love to play with and it's not a kiddie type of game so I'm not too embarrassed to ask Joe for it. I still feel myself blushing a little when I point at the ant farm on the shelf. "What about this? I could keep it in my room and it's sealed so the ants wouldn't be able to escape." I skipped over a couple of other things that looked really great, but I'm too old for a stuffed animal anyway and I'm sure Joe has better things to do then play a stupid game with me.

*

I nod. Supposedly it's very educational too, so I have no problem buying it for him. I noticed that he was looking at a game earlier and go over to check it out. It's aimed at older kids so it doesn't look silly and he obviously wanted it. I wonder why he asked for the ant farm and not this, not that I won't buy him both anyway, but he's far too unsure of himself to ask for more than one thing. "All right, we'll get the ant farm then," I say. "But what about this? We could play it tonight while we're watching the videos, if you want." I grab the stuffed tiger as well on the way to the counter – I know teenage boys don't like to admit to owning cuddly toys, but I've never before met one who didn't own any and it was so sad watching the way Lucas ran his hand over this one before turning away and resolutely not looking at the display as he searched for something to buy.

*

I stammer a little when Joe picks up the tiger and asks me about the game I was looking at. "Really Joe it's ok, you don't have to get those as well. The game does look cool, but I'm sure you have more important things to do then play with me. I don't want to be a bother and you have done too much already." With a smaller voice I mumble. "Please I don't want you to think I'm ungrateful, more then one present it's too much and I can't get you anything to say how grateful I am that you took me in and went through all the trouble you did with Social Services."

*

I shift the stuff to one arm and pull Lucas in for a one handed hug with the other. "Lucas, if I hadn't been happy to buy them for you, I wouldn't have suggested it. You're not being ungrateful. You're a kid – it's your job to ask for stuff; it's my job to make sure I don't end up spoiling you too much." I hug him harder. "And I want to spend time with you, Lucas. I know it's going to take a while for you to trust that, but playing this game, or anything else we do, is important to me." I keep my arm wrapped around him as I make my way to the cash desk. I slip a key ring in amongst the rest of the things without him noticing and the cashier put it all into a bag for me. I take the bag and hand Lucas the tiger. "Come on, we need to get some food and some videos on the way home. Be thinking about what you want to watch, kid."

*

We walk back to Joe's car and he keeps his arm around my shoulder the whole way there. I don't know why but I feel safe and even loved, as if nothing can really touch me while he's there. I know it sounds stupid and corny, but around him I relax for the first time in years and I can feel it deep down in my soul that he is not lying to me, he will be there to catch me when I fall. I hold the stuffed tiger Joe just bought me to my chest and curl up on the passenger seat, trying to think about a movie that Joe wouldn't find boring until we pull up to the store and I still haven't the faintest idea what to pick, I haven't really been keeping up with movies for a while so I hope looking at the covers I'll get struck by inspiration. We leave all our stuff in the car and, once inside, I start browsing around the shelves. I can feel Joe's eyes constantly on me and instead of feeling oppressive they feel oddly comforting. After a few minutes I come up with a couple of movies that might be ok and I bring them back to Joe to see what he thinks. "I thought Bram Stoker's Dracula might be cool." With a light blush I show him to other movie I picked. "You know Joe, we don't have to watch this, I can watch it by myself some other time." With that I start taking the movie back to its place but Joe stops me with a hand on my shoulder.

*

I pull him back and smile at him. "I said you could pick the movies, kid. We'll watch whatever you want." I look down at the video and laugh. "Toy Story? I've heard good things about that. It should be fun. Do you want to get some popcorn to go with the films?" It takes us nearly an hour to get home, between the video store, the pizza place and everything. I pull the cushions off the couch and we stretch out in front of the television.

Lucas reaches for the remote, but I stop him before he can turn the film on. "Before you do that I want to say something. For the last couple of months that you've been here, we've both been treating it as a temporary thing, but it isn't. Not any more. We both act like you're a guest instead of this being your home. And I think it's time things changed." I can see him looking worried and I reach out to squeeze his shoulder. "All your stuff is in your room and with the door shut no one would even know you live here by looking around. I'm not saying I want you to start leaving things lying around just for the hell of it – but you don't have to keep everything out of sight either. This is our home, not just mine and I want it to look like that. Since you're not a guest you have to do your fair share of the chores and you can help out at the store if you want, in exchange you'll get an allowance to spend on whatever you want, not clothes and things like that, I'll still pay for those, but cds, birthday presents, books, whatever you want. You'll need these as well," I continue, pulling the key ring I bought, now complete with a set of house keys, out of my pocket. "I don't plan on leaving you alone here very often, but if I have to work late you should be able to come and go as you want. Just make sure I know where you are and when you're going to be home." I shrug sheepishly as I start to sound like a parent. "I worry."

*

I stay there stunned for what feels like an eternity. I know I shouldn't trust this, I know that everybody is supposed to eventually turn on you, but somehow I have this feeling that maybe it won't happen this time. Joe hands me the house keys, my own house keys, and I notice the key ring has a tiger on it. I look up with a weak smile and finally open my mouth to speak, but the words get stuck in my throat and the only thing I can do is wrap my arms around Joe's waist and squeeze him tight, trying to make him understand how important this is to me.

*

Lucas grabs me and hugs me tightly for the first time ever. I can feel a lump in my own throat, seeing how visibly moved he obviously is and wrap my own arms around him, holding him close until he can regain some of his composure. I stroke his hair with one hand. I find myself murmuring words of comfort to him. "Hush, Lucas. It's all right. Just let it go. You're here now and you're safe and I'm never letting you go again." When he calms down a little I pull him to sit leaning against me and turn the movie on, not quite ready to let him go yet.

*

I sniff a little and try to dry my eyes quickly while Joe pretends not to notice it by reaching over for the bowl of popcorns and placing it between us. I know I should move away, but his presence is soothing and I can't help but lean a little closer and snuggle into his one armed hug. He hits play and we start watching Bram Stoker's Dracula. Halfway through it I can feel my eyelids starting to get heavier and, even though I fight it as long as I can, I finally doze off while Van Helsing, Jonathan and Mina are travelling back to Transylvania, trying to beat Dracula to his castle.

*

I can feel Lucas growing heavier against me as he drifts off and shift position so I can support his weight. When the final credits roll I manage to lift him into my arms without waking him up and carry him to bed. I rouse him a little so I can pull his shirt and jeans off and then I tuck him under the covers without him ever fully waking up. I can't resist stroking his hair away from his face and dropping a kiss on his forehead before I leave. He murmurs slightly in his sleep and snuggles further under the blankets. At moments like this he looks about five years old and I smile at him before turning the light out and gently closing the door behind me.


End file.
